"Look Spence, I know you're worried that we won't be friends after I leave, but I won't let that happen.  I promise."  I said holding out my pinky, which she intertwined with hers.  "I'll call at least once a week, we'll text everyday, and send e-mails.  I'll be home for every holiday and remember colleges have longer breaks than high schools.  So it won't be that bad."  I said whole heartedly.  I really believed that at the time but I was wrong, it was really hard.

"It will so be that bad."  She pouted.  Ugh, her pout kills me every time.  All she has to do is stick that lip out and I'm a goner.  "But I'll try and suck it up for you."  She said smiling weakly with tears in her eyes.

"That's my girl."  I said wraping my arms around her enveloping her in a hug.  She hugged me back, clinging on for dear life, afraid I would leave her.  I could feel her hot tears dampening my shirt.  I hated when she cried, it always made me cry.  I pulled back from the hug, wiping her tears away.  I looked her in the eye an saw something I never noticed before, want.  Of course there was love in her eyes, there always was, but this time was different.

Just when I noticed this she leaned in and kissed me.  Needless to say I was completely caught off guard.  I never saw Spencer and I as anything romantic.  Not because she's a girl because I've known that I was gay since forever.  The only people I told about it were Kyla and Spencer.  I've never had the courage to act on my feelings, which is partly why I chose to go to New York.  I felt I could be free to be myself, so far away from home.  But Spencer never let on that she was gay or even curious.  She just accepted that that's who I was.  I never thought of Spencer in that way because she's four years younger than me.  I mean it's kind of illegal at this point.  If only we were a bit older then the four years wouldn't matter.  But I couldn't do this at the time.  So I pulled away from the kiss.

"Spence, we can't."  I said out of breath, shaking my head.  I never realized how much I wanted to kiss her until that moment.  I instantly missed the touch of her lips on mine.

"I'm sorry just forget about it."  She apologized looking away.

"Hey."  I whispered, lifting her face to meet mine.  "I don't want to forget about it, but we just can't, not right now.  In a couple of years, definitely."  I laughed giving her a soft peck on the lips.

"Okay, promise."  She said smiling, holding out her pinky which I accepted.