We have been here in Ohio for about a week, and we are going to head back home in a couple of days. Dad and Becca made Grams go to the doctors, practically carried her out because she didn’t want to go, why? Because she said that she didn’t need a stinking doctor to tell her when her time was going to be up, that it was up to god to decided and she was ready to go because her children where happily married and with children of their own. At the time Grams said that both Becca and my dad knew she wasn’t telling us something. So they most definitely had to drag my Grams to the doctors and they were right grams had a couple of months left. I was a bit shocked because she didn’t really show any symptoms, well I mean she looked perfectly fine and all. This happened about two days ago. My dad has been trying to keep it together for the sake of Grams because if she were to see him down or something. I’m pretty sure she will tell him to suck it up, ha ha ha yea I know in time of sadness my grams would be the one to say something like that. Becca on the other hand is a bit more reserved; she will not let her emotions get the best of her unless there was a breaking point i.e. the divorce. I still haven’t had the guts to go talk to grams about it, I don’t know it just seems a bit unfair that she was given a certain amount of time to live and do everything you have to do that you ever wanted, and if you don’t get to do any of it well to bad your dead you had your chance. I guess it still hasn’t sunk it completely that she will be gone in a couple of months, I always figured that she will always be there to tell us stories about her time, how she meet gramps, how her family didn’t want her to marry gramps but still did it anyways.
Grams: “Spencer, may I speak with you?” she brought me out of my daze, I just nodded and made my way to sit next to her on the couch “you know that when I meet you grandfather I was about your age, he had those piercing blue eyes that you have” I look up at her and smile “and every time that I look at your beautiful eyes it reminds me of your grandfather and how much I miss him”
Spence: “Grams, I---“
Grams: “Spence, I know that you are not a child anymore, you are beautiful and wonderful young women that will do great things in life, I know that you understand what is going on.” She pauses for a bit and then takes my hand in hers “ I know that you know that I have a couple of months left” that’s when it hit me, when those words left her mouth, I didn’t want her to let her see me cry so I turn my head the other direction “Spence, baby girl look at me please, don’t be as stubborn as your aunt Becca, I knew that you two growing up together something would rub off on you” I look up at her
Spence: “it’s not fair grams” I say as she wipes away my tears with her free hand
Grams: she laughs a bit “baby girl life is not fair, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not worth fighting for-“
Spence: “then why aren’t you getting treatment I mean you could come to los-“
Grams: “Spence, it’s my time, I know it I feel it. I feel your grandfather calling me he is waiting for me with his piercing blue eyes that I always loved” she pauses and I lay my head on her lap like I use to when I was little and she brushed my hair with her hands “I’m not worried about you one bit, but on the other hand Glen, that boy has always needed he babysister to get through, and I want you to promise me that you will help him along the way, he needs you to help that big head of his to make sure that he is on the right track”
Spence: “I promise grams”
Two days later….....
“Now boarding flight 528 to Los Angeles, California on terminal 3b”
The last two days we spent with Grams, we spent reminiscing on the past and every time someone ended up with tears in their eyes. As we said our see you laters not goodbyes, Becca broke down for the very first time since we had arrived here to Ohio. My dad hugged her very tightly and she started to sob even more, she was going through a lot: her divorce with Jamie and now her mom.
“Last call for flight 528 to Los Angeles California on terminal 3b, last call”
Arthur: “Come one Becca, there are three very impatient, loving and caring people waiting for you at home” he said as he put his arm over Beccas shoulder walking towards the plane
As we found our seats, the seating arrangement was the same as when we first boarded the plane, both Becca and I next to each other and dad behind us.
Spence: “Becca, can I ask you something?”
Becca: “yea, what’s up?”
Spence: “do you still love Jamie?” she was taken back a little by my question “wait no that’s a stupid quest-“
Becca: “I do, I love her more than I ever have” she pauses and looks out the window “I don’t want to lose her; I don’t want to lose someone else”
Spence: “then why? I mean I see the way the she looks at you when you are not looking, like you are the only person in the room”
Becca: “you mean the same way that Ashley looks at you when you are not looking?” I felt my face getting warmer and all I could do was look down at my hands “Spence, I see the way that she looks at you and the way you look at her, not only that but every time Ashley’s name is brought up you get this smile on your face, she look, your smiling”
Spence: “You know that you do that too” I pause for a bit and just blurt out “Jamie, ha see your smiling” we both laugh for a bit “Becca you should talk to Jamie, she loves you, let her know what’s going on, let her in” I felt as if I was giving myself advice “because I know she will do anything to make you happy”
Becca: “you know, I should be the one to be giving you advice instead of the other way around” she says with a smile on her face
The rest of the flight, I spent thinking how I was going to tell Ashley how I feel about her I mean, I’m no the type of person to actually talk about my emotions and how I feel, I have always learned to keep them to myself and not let anyone one in, except when Ashley came around, she was the first person I actually talked to, well actually she just sat there holding me not saying anything just her being there for me while I cried my eyes out. The past couple of months have been crazy, first I run into someone I never expected to run into in a lifetime, fine out that I have a thing for that person, while that person being Ashley a girl, broke up with a guy that cheated on me with one of my so called good friends, Becca and Jamie getting a divorce. which I hope they don’t because it would really suck and besides they make a really cute couple and last but not least finding out Grams has a couple of months left. Life s definitely not looking up right now, but one thing I am sure of is that life is short and i better to say to much than to not to say anything at all just as John Meyer put it. I can’t wait to see Ashley to tell her how I feel, the only thing is that I hope she feels the same,, because if she doesn’t then that would be one more thing to add to the list.