And more than that, she probably made the blonde feel cheap. She wanted it to be more than just a drunken fuck in a car. She wanted to tell her ex best friend that she loved her as she softly touched her, not grab her ass until she got off.
Ashley searched her mind for the right words she could use to apologizeā"something, anything to make up for what they just shared and explain to the blonde how much it matteredā"how much Spencer mattered to her.
"Spence-" But the blonde put up a hand, forestalling Ashley.
"We should get to the Sheriff's station." She said quietly, looking out the passenger side window.
"But, Spencer-" Ashley protested, wanting to tell her just how amazing what happened was.
"Not now." Spencer whispered, crossing her arms against her chest like a protective shield. Spencer wasn't only dismayed by the brunette's experience, but suddenly she remembered how Ashley had treated her earlier; how she didn't tell her about the picture in her locker. How she barely gave her a second glance at work. How she didn't acknowledge the pumpkin she bought her or the dance she prepared. How she crept away in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye. In her vulnerability, Spencer felt very much alone and unwanted.
With one more glance at the surly blonde, Ashley started the car and made her way out of King High's deserted parking lot. She couldn't believe that for a brief few minutes she had the blonde and how poorly she'd chosen to use them. She quietly made the drive towards Spencer's house, not at all planning to go to the Sheriff's station with alcohol on her breath at almost three in the morning. But Spencer gave no indication that she cared as the brunette pulled up to the Carlin's house, and didn't say a word when Ashley put the car in park but didn't turn off the engine. There was no way in hell Ashley was staying there with the blonde acting as she was.
With a moment's pause, Spencer looked outside towards her house before she undid her seatbelt.
"Where are you staying?" Spencer whispered, eyes trained on her front door.
"Aiden's." Ashley lied, wanting the tension to end. She cursed herself for letting the blonde in again. She hated herself for exposing her need when she clearly knew that Spencer had no intentions of being anymore than just a friend to her; if even that. With her own ears she heard the blonde agree to stay away from her, and despite all that she'd given in to her own yearning. She felt stupid. Spencer had been drunk. She had recently been dumped. She probably was just grieving and Ashley took advantage. Her freaking best friend died! How could Ashley have treated her like that?! The brunette felt like such a fool and her heart felt ice cold. Spencer hadn't changed a bit in four years, Ashley thought, she'll probably drop me again just like she did four years ago!
Nausea washed over the brunette. She couldn't believe she was thinking such things, accusing Spencer without warrant. But she didn't want to hope anymore. Expect the worst and all that. No, she'd just give the blonde the benefit of the doubt and wait to see how it all unfolded.
"I'll see you tomorrow." And like that, Spencer was out of the car and through her front door.
"Well that lasted long." Ashley said to herself, again cursing her own wishful thinking. Spencer didn't even put up a fight at the lame excuse the brunette had just given her. With a heavy heart, Ashley put the car in reverse and made the short trip back to her dark, lonely house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The overweight acting Sheriff lazily picked up the ringing phone. It had been a long night of panicked false alarms and enraged citizens. He was on his fourth cup of coffee and wasn't happy that the bitter taste was starting to grow on him.
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