“Mmmm…how does that make you feel?”

“Pissed, angry, hurt….confused.”

“Is this the first time you guys had this problem?”

“Yeah.”

“Talk to her.”

“I don’t feel like having an awkward conversation with her.”

“Spencer, she’s your girlfriend. If you can’t tell her how you feel, then maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship.”

“Hey Spencer.” Toni greets me when I show up Thursday night to watch Grays Anatomy.

“How’s it going?” I give her a quick hug before moving onto the living room. I really like Toni. She’s great to talk to, funny, and a really great friend to Ashley. I’ve been thinking a lot about the advice she gave me and hopefully tonight I can figure out what’s going on with Ashley.

“Hey…” Ashley grabs my hand when I try to walk past her. “Come here.” Next thing I know, I’m sitting in her lap. “I missed you.” She says planting a kiss on my closed lips. We haven’t talked much in the last two days since I’ve seen her at Toni’s desk.

“We’ll talk later.” I promise her. I get off of her lap and sit on the couch next to her.

I could feel Ashley’s eyes on me the whole time the show was on. When it went off, Toni said she was calling it a night and kissed Ashley and I on the forehead before walking to her room.

“I’m sor…”

“Don’t.” I stop her before she can finish. “I don’t want you to tell me you’re sorry Ashley.” I move over to sit in the chair across from her wheel chair. “I want you to tell me why you did what you did, and what’s bothering you.”

“I just wasn’t thinking. I said I was sorry. Let’s move on.” She says looking at everything else but me. I guess she’s trying to avoid looking at the hurt that I’m not hiding at the way she’s acting.

“If you want to break up with me, then just do it.” I stand. “You don’t have to be a jackass about it.”

“Whoa… who said anything about breaking up? I said I was sorr…”

“Don’t you fucking say those words again!” Ashley looks at me shocked.

“Calm down. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Ashley grabs my hand and holds it between hers. I sit back down and we sit in silence holding hands.

“Look,” I wait until Ashley eyes are on me before I continue. “I know we haven’t had sex…”

“Its not…”