The whole class, professor included, stare at me in shock as I stand there.
Spencer: "Um...ahhhh yeahhhhh, just um, just find me later." I tell her as I slowly turn away from the doorway and march back down the hall, hands covering my reddened face. Really, Spence...ya couldn't have waited until later or texted her?!
But I don't see Jess the rest of the day. Nor do I see Ashley. After my last class of the day, my first full day at Marshall Daniel's, I tiredly trudge up to my dorm to find it empty with Gage's car keys on my bed. I don't even think I can go down to the cafe to see Ashley's empty seat there. She has ignored me all day, including my last ditch effort text telling her that I made it to all my classes. I sent that text over twenty minutes ago and nothing back.
I decided that I was just going to drop my crap and go right to Doctor Thomas' office, skipping dinner and not bothering to find my friends.
It was actually pretty great making the half hour drive to and from Thomas' office alone. It gave me a lot of time to think about Ashley and where she's coming from. Dr. Thomas helped me sort out some things about what happened in Ohio and I was glad to really be able to deconstruct it and get his opinion; I can tell it will be important that I continue discussing it.
But back to Ashley.
I was actually ten minutes away from the campus when it hit me. And hard.
I slammed on the breaks to the jeep and the engine idled as I marveled at my discovery.
Through Ashley's eyes I have never been selfish. I've been broken and she saw to it that I got better because she loves me. But maybe, just maybe I was and am being selfish. For the past two and a half years I've had the weight of all my pain bear down on me and somewhere along the line it clouded me. Meanwhile, Ashley has had a lifetime of neglect and pain on her shoulders and no one has really taken the time to heal her.
Sure, she has friends who would do anything for her. But at the end of the day, Gage has Jess, and Sara and Kelly have each other and no one is there to take care of Ashley.
We've discussed her, I've tried to pry, but I've always been the main focus of us. I shake my head to clear it and press on the gas hard. I start speeding back to school and the decision as been made in my head.
I don't care what it takes, Ashley will know that she is my world!
I pull into a spot in the parking lot and cut the engine. I quickly yank the keys out of the ignition and rush up to the steps of Marshall Daniel's. Five feet away I skid to a stop when I see her sitting there, head bowed as steam puffs out her mouth in short blasts.
Spencer: "Ash?" I whisper, trying not to startle her.
Ashley: "I use to...the night I found Gage up on the roof of the school I...well sometimes I go there to think. Or...I use to. I didn't like to go to the observatory to think cause that's where I go to play so I would go up on the roof of the school. That's where I was today." She tells me quietly as she stands.
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