They stood there in the doorway for what seemed like an eternity, just basking in the moment, loving the feeling of the other, taking notice of how everything disappeared, how when one was in the room nothing else fit on the spectrum, how one touch, one look, one feel, one hug and everything was said. Sometimes all the words can be said and all actions can be taken into consideration, but this wasn’t about words that were going to be said, the words that were hanging in the air, this wasn’t about the choices or the actions Ashley chose or didn’t choose, this wasn’t about apologies that Ashley was undeniably going to give, this was about two people who just looked at one an other and somehow saw all the obstacles, saw all the bumps in the road and still excepted the challenge, because they just knew.

                    When they broke apart there were no words said, there was just silent agreement. They found themselves in Spencer’s room, laying on Spencer’s bed. They were laying on opposite sides of the bed, with a foot in-between them, both afraid of touching, unsure of what was happening or running through the other girls mind. They just lay there face to face reading one another through there eyes. Neither daring to look away, paralyzed by the depth they saw in one another. Slowly Spencer brought her hand up to Ashley’s shoulder, and using three dangly fingers, lightly ran her fingers down the length of Ashley’s arm. Painfully slow and leaving a trail of shivers all the way down, until she rested, lingering at Ashley’s hand, hoping Ashley would get the idea. She paused for a moment and made sure to touch every inch of her hand, rubbing meaningful circles on all of Ashley’s knuckles. Ashley’s eyes never left Spencer’s traveling hand, they followed, learned her pattern, studied and noted each movement. Spencer’s hand left Ashley’s and glided up the mattress and fell still in the middle, resting at the same level as there faces.

                  Her eyes then reached Ashley’s questioning ones, silently and gently giving her a command, Ashley was nervous but wanted nothing more to comply. She looked at Spencer’s hand, it was resting, palm empty, waiting for its partner. Spencer looked once more at Ashley, and found the brunette asking. With on slight nod the blonde closed her eyes. Ashley watched the blond in amazement, she was completely in awe with her, she felt different with her, she felt human again, grounded, she felt ready to start healing, to start becoming whole. She hesitantly started bringing her hand to the other, waiting for Spencer to change her mind. In one last movement she reached her destination, taking the other girls hand in her own, entwining there fingers, making the blonds lips smile lightly and her eyes to close again taking the welcomed sleep. Ashley released the breath she had been holding, and followed the blond into a deep, peaceful sleep.

                      Spencer was the first to wake, and she was glad, the time would give her a chance to reflect. She smiled at there still clasped hands and the closeness of there bodies, noted that it was way closer now then when they had fallen asleep. She found it reassuring that even it there unconscious state they still longed for closeness. Spencer watched the light of the upcoming sun reflect off of the brunette, she studied carefully the beauty of the other girl, even after all the tears and lack of sleep she still found Ashley to be beautiful. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out. She lightly stroked the other girls face, brushing the bangs that were laying in the girls eyes and sweeping them away. She repeatrd the motion, just trying to keep some kind of contact with the girl that lay inches away. When Ashley’s eyes opened, Spencer was quick to move her hand away embarrassed. Ashley in return was quick to grab the offensive hand and entwine them back together, where they belonged, putting smiles on both of there faces.

** “I missed you Ash”

--- “I know, I’m sorry”

** “Stop apologizing, and talk to me”

---- “I was embarrassed. And every time I wanted to call you, I’d back out or hang up, because I still didn’t know what to say to you Spence…… I’ve never… well the last couple years at least, I haven’t needed anybody, like really needed, like hard to breath needed…. And then you show up and…..my world is upside down….and you make it bearable…..God, this isn’t coming out right at all.

** “No! your doing good.”

         Spencer was trying to get Ashley to talk, she didn’t care if it didn’t make any sense,  she just didn’t want to lose her again, she didn’t want for her to close up and move away.

--- “Maybe if you went into the closet”

** “What”!?

--- “ Ok I’ll go into the closet”

** “ Why are we going into the closet?!”

--- “ Not we, just me… I cant talk to you if your looking at me.. I get all nervous.. Just let me get it all out and then I’ll come out”

Spencer stared at Ashley like she grew another head, and watched her walk into her closet

** “You’re crazy!!! what are you doing Ashley?…I’m sick of these games”

--- “ I am too…Just hear me out”

There was something in Ashley’s voice that made Spencer stop, Ashley took the silence to go on, now having a little more courage with a door seperating her and the blond.