NOTE: for all of you wondering – these are the symptoms and withdrawals of cocaine and other drugs (opium, inhalants, PCP, etc). I’ve actually researched, so these are real symptoms… actually they’re worse, but well, I don’t want the story to be all about drugs… so yeah…

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Ashley got four stitches on the left side of her lower lip. There are 11 stitches in her hands altogether. Doctors asked us what happened and we all mumbled about exploding glasses and heat… I don’t think they bought it. Kyla dropped me off and took Ashley home; she was exhausted. I ran straight to my room barely acknowledging my dad on the way up. I was on autopilot. Closing and locking the door, I pushed my homework onto the ground and got onto google.

Scrolling through the links, I opened a few that could be useful. What if I can’t remember anything? Ah! Notebook. I grabbed a green notebook off the floor and a Sharpie pen. Clicking on the first link, I began to read and take notes.

“Cocaine increases the same chemicals in the brain that make people feel good when they eat, drink or have sex. Regular cocaine use can cause lasting changes in the brain. This may explain the craving and psychiatric symptoms that last even after drug use stops.” quote: /AboutAddictionMentalHealth/DrugandAddictionInformation/cocainedyk.html

“PCP, or angel dust, is a sedative where patients fall into a trance like state. Many victims of this drug become agitated, delusional, and detached…” info: faculty./chudler/pcp.html

“Opium symptoms with wreak havoc on the body. Many people will experience sweating, vomiting, mood swings, depression, etc…”info: /opium.htm

Site after site, I searched and read. Every site gave warnings of the dangers or doomed the victim to an untimely death. I had pages filled with things like, you usually become addicted to cocaine the first time you use it, and addicts will do ANYTHING to get their coke fix - not exactly hopeful. Though, Ashley’s symptoms didn’t seem as bad as what, apparently, I should have expected. She seemed to be in the last stages… I haven’t really been with her much these last few weeks, but I was determined to make that up to her.

I quickly spun around in my chair when I heard the knocks.

“Spencer?”

“Uh, hold on Dad.” Closing out of the sites I closed the notebook and unlocked the door.

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if we could talk?” I looked around nervously.

“Uh, yeah, yeah… sure.” He smiled kindly at me and we took a seat on my bed. I wish I could remember when talking to my dad became so awkward.

“So, what’s up, Spencer?” I kept my gaze on my hands in my lap.

“N-nothing… Is that all?”

“You know you can talk to me right? I know I’m just your old dad, but if you ever need to talk to me, I’ll always listen and I will love you no matter what.”

“Thanks Dad…” I smiled up at him. Leaning down, he kissed my forehead and got up. “Can I go to Ashley’s after school tomorrow?” I asked suddenly.