== "Damn it Ash! Where are you going now?"

---"To get me, back"

“ I don’t want to open this door, because once I do its real.

Everything outside will want in, but if I don’t I will surely suffocate.”

                        Ashley drove around, trying to remember the way to the cemetery, her mom’s grave lays in. The day her mom was buried she was just blindly following the hearse, to be honest she never really thought she would find herself back here. After an hour or so she was following the windy road through the deserted cemetery. It was sad all those names resting on headstones, mostly forgotten, mostly just basking in the sun and rain day after day, waiting for visitors to bring flowers that would just die the next day. Just another attribute to the eerie feeling grave. Ashley felt weird walking on the ground were someone lay resting, she felt like she was an intruder, like she was taking away form the faceless names. She found her mom with ease, no matter how out of it she was that day, she could never forget the feeling that washed over her in this particular spot. She lifelessly, dropped to both her knees, in one heap, like she weighed a million pounds. She felt awkwardly, un-awkward, she had put it in her mind that this would be pointless and weird, but sitting here in front of her mom like this, with just dirt separating them, she felt this calm comforting feeling. The wind wasn’t cold and unwanted it was warm and expecting, it was giving her comfort in telling her peace.

--- "Hey Mom….um… I don’t know how to go about this at all…. I mean do I just talk or…"

              She trailed off. She felt ridiculous. What is she suppose to say. She let the last few months of memories wash over her. All the hurt and anger. And just like that she knew what to say.

---  "I miss you…. So much… I wish I could just ask you what I should do next…. I wish I could hear you say ‘I love you one more time’…. I am so screwed up mom… I’m not even close to the person I want to be, the person you knew I could be…"

             She bared her soul, let every emotion out, it was just like it was a conversation between a mother and her teenage daughter, that would always be her baby. And even though Ashley’s mother wasn’t physically there, she was in other ways. And for the first time, Ashley felt it, her mom was watching over her. Ashley didn’t know if it was the air or a revelation but even from her grave, Ashley’s mom helped her realized that life does go on.

--- "I’m going to make you so proud of me mom…. I love you"

“ It takes time to heal all wounds. But can time fill a

Whole this big, without leaving a scare. Maybe it always

Leaves a scar. Maybe some wounds need something bigger

Than time.”

           Ashley ran her fingers over her mothers name, the dates of life and death, remembering her shaking hands at the ceremony, matching the ones she was working with at this very moment, so many months later. This moment she felt free, there were so many things she wanted to do, so much to say, but one person stood out in her mind. The same person who was the only picture she saw every time she closed her eyes. Maybe that’s why Ashley found herself outside Spencer’s home.

                  Ashley had been debating on whether to knock or ring the bell. well obviously she was meant to ring because why else was it there. Or maybe she should knock, or just turn around and go back to the car. Ashley had taken a few steps back toward her car, but then soon changed her mind and was back on the porch, back to debating. She had enough and just went to ring, then changed to a knock. Just as she was about to knock she had to bring it back in fear of hitting a familiar blond in the face.