“I wanna die, Spence.” She said quietly it in such a broken voice that I felt slightly queasy.

“Ash…” I stepped closer until I was close enough to touch her with a shaky hand. “You don’t mean that.”

“I need to die.” She rasped soberly. Her mind was made up and I could feel the bile rising in my throat. She was giving up on me. My head was spinning.

“No, baby. No.” I begged through tears as I literally threw myself at her. Wrapping my arms around her in a desperate hug, I held Ashley tightly against me so she couldn’t get away. I don’t know how long I held her, but I sobbed the hold time as she stood there limply looking at the floor. “No, no, no.” I kept repeating it into her sweat and tear stained t-shirt. “I can’t lose you.” I murmured softly.

Much later, I pulled back from her. Ashley refused to look at me and continued to look down at her feet. Moving slowly, like she was a wild animal, I went to take her hands in my. A soft whimper fell from her lips, which I just noticed was split. I gingerly guided her closer to the sink then noticed all the broken glass. Taking her wrist in my hand, I carefully lead us out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

“Come on Ashey- Ashley.” I corrected myself, remembering what happened a few days ago.

“Ashey.” A soft rasp came from behind me and it almost brought tears to my eyes. I took her bloody hands and began to rinse them under lukewarm water.

“Do you have tweezers?” I looked over at her, but once again her eyes were vacant. “Sweetie, we need to get the glass out of your hands.” Still no reply. Sighing softly, I continued to lightly clean her hands.

“Anyone HOMEEEE?” I heard Kyla sing loudly from the foyer, making Ashley jump. The click of her heels grew louder as she walked down the short hallway and turned to her left: to the kitchen. “Spencer!” Ashley jumped again.

“Shh, Kyla.” I probably said it too harshly, but I was on Helping Ashley Mode right now.

“Uh, sorry…. So, what are you doing?” It must have looked a bit strange; Ashley’s hair and clothes were disheveled; my eyes were probably blood shot and red from crying and I was washing Ash’s hands.

“Do you have tweezers?”

“Uh?”