“Every time we move forward something happens and I’m scared Ashley. I don’t know what to do sometimes. Jack and Michael are the only experience I have and- and they didn’t prepare me to fall in love with you. I’m not ready to deal with these things.” I held her quietly and continued to listen because I knew she had more to say. “What if you have a lot of trouble kicking these addictions? And you get angry again or- or hurt me- yourself. I just don’t know what to do because it really hurts and I really love you.” I kissed her head and hoped she didn’t notice the tears fall onto her. I loved Spencer so much and I couldn’t stand knowing how much pain this was causing her.

“Spencer-”

“I think we should take a break. Be friends until you sort out your life.”

“Would that make you happy?” I asked quietly so she wouldn’t hear my voice shaking.

“No… but it’s what I need us to do.” I let a whimper slip as I brought her as close to me as possible and fell against her. Feeling her in my arms for the last time.

“Ok…” I whispered into her hair. It smelled like strawberries and vanilla. Spencer took a shaky breath and began to get up. I had to tell myself not to reach out a grab her. Not to lie to her and tell her that it would be ok, easy even. She turned to look at me and quickly ran back towards me, tears streaming from her eyes and placed a heartbroken kiss against my lips. Pulling back she turned away, wrapping her arms around herself. I heard her start to cry as she ran out of my room.

Even though I loved her, I had to let her go. Maybe… maybe she’d come back though be. Maybe we would be ok…