Chapter twelve: Comin’ Home.

 “Love is not love which it alters, when altercation finds, when life gets hard or changes. True love remains the same.”

Spencer’s thoughts: Blue and Ashley’s thoughts: Green and songs are in italics

This year I wished for love; to amerce myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted but in way it feels like I’m losing it.  

I close my eyes and pray this isn’t happening. I lied to Ashley, I don’t understand, I can’t grasp the concept of her leaving.

“Spencer,” She stops before continuing. “Did you hear me?”  Her voice was frail and vulnerable. Yea I heard you, damn it I just want to pretend this fucking isn’t happening. I gave you my heart and this is how you repay me?

“Yea I heard, that’s,” I stop for second trying to find the courage to utter the next word. “Great.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow. That’s the only time I could fly out there.” My eyes finally met hers and I slowly started to crack; the tears streamed down my cheek.

“T-tomorrow?” I ask hoping she was lying.

“Yea, so today, can it just be us? No distractions, just you and me.”  

I nod. I can’t speak; I don’t know what will come out if I do. Her arms wrap around me, she is embracing me, saving me, and leaving me all at the same time.

“Where do you want to go?” My voice wavers. I need to be strong!

“Get dressed and I’ll take you.”  My heart is breaking. She’s trying to be strong, but I can see past the façade, she’s dying inside. Her eyes are the windows into her soul; they reveal more than she thinks.  I’m killing her; my actions, my choices are the ones breaking her and there’s nothing I can do about it.

 “Spencer come on it’s getting late.” Why isn’t she down here yet?

I ran upstairs something didn’t feel right. “Spencer,” I pause to find her. “Spencer!” I notice she’s in the corner peering out. The smeared mascara reveals traces of tears, her gaze never falters from the window.

“Spencer,” I try again this time I was right by her side. “I know you’re hurting and I promise we will get through this together. I want to show you something, so please let’s go.” My hand lingers out waiting for her to accept. Her staring ceased and she accepted my hand.

We drove for hours before we reached the destination.

“Ashley where are we?”

“C’mon you’ll see.”  I simply say.

We follow the path and finally reach my surprise.