P.S. I Love You

“okay…okay I changed my mind…I don’t want you to move in anymore” Ashley said putting a huge box down in her house after carrying it inside and she was completely out of breath “I mean seriously, how much stuff can you have?” she asked me and I just laughed then Aiden came inside carrying a huge box

“you alright?” he asked Ashley making fun of her

“fuck you” she told him then I went and sat over on her lap “keep working” she said pointing out the door

“it’s not that bad” I told her

“I’m not made for lifting heavy things like hundred pound boxes of clothes” she told me “I can lift guitars…that’s about it, oh and you” she said picking me up

“Ashley! No! Down! Put me down!” I screamed then my parents walked in

“ah young love” my mom said then Ashley turned facing them and she put me down

“nice mess you got going on in here” my dad told us

“we’ll clean it up…” I told them

“…eventually” Ashley added and I shoved her playfully in the arm

“hey Ash I called Colin and Jay to come help me out with this stuff…” Aiden told her

“okay…awesome” Ashley replied

“what time did you guys start moving in?” my mom asked us as we walked into the living room

“like nine this morning…” I told her

“and it’s already one and you don’t even have half the boxes in here?” she asked

“it’s a one man show Mrs. C” Aiden said coming into the kitchen to get a bottle of water

“want to go out back?” I asked Ashley

“yeah sure” she replied and we went outside by the pool then I sat down in one of the chairs and she sat behind me and spread her legs so I could lean back and she wrapped her arms around me “sorry I didn’t get all fancy with proposing…” she apologized

“I’m actually kind of glad that you didn’t go all out to do it…” I told her “…it was really cute, I like it when you’re cute and not flashy”

“good to know” she told me running her fingers over my ring

“how’d you know I wanted this ring?” I asked her

“I found your stash of tiffany’s catalogues” she told me “I told you, I’ve had that ring for five months now…I mean I knew I wanted to marry you Spencer two months after we started dating, I just needed to make sure I wouldn’t take anything for granted” she explained

“well I’m glad you waited…” I told her “…things just seem so perfect” I added and she kissed the top of my head

“so this wedding…what’s the deal? Big? Small?” she asked me

“uhm…how about like two hundred people at the most…and we can have it outside, on a hillside facing the ocean…” I started to tell her

“have it more planned out” she said making fun of me

“believe it or not, I have my dream wedding planned out”

“well good because I don’t” she told me

“did Natalie call you about that US Weekly spread that they want us to do?” I asked her

“you mean the spread they want you to do?” she asked

“no us…they want you and me”

“people don’t even know who I am” she said then she thought for a second “wait…Spencer what’d you do?”

“okay…” I started “…maybe I took one of your demos and called a few people…”

“Spencer…” she said getting up

“Ashley your music is so good! Why are you hiding it?” I asked her

“because it’s my music! When I’m ready I’ll put it out there okay?! I don’t need you to go and do whatever you want with my stuff…you have no idea what it’s like to write your own songs and you don’t know how to sponsor my stuff okay?!” she said yelling at me

“I just…I just thought I was doing something good for you…” I told her

“maybe next time you should really think about it…” she said storming into the house then I followed her as she went upstairs into our bedroom

“what happened?” Aiden asked me as I followed her

“she’s just being Ashley” I told him going up the stairs then I shut the bedroom door behind me “look, I have no problem when we get into a fight, but don’t walk away” I told her as she leaned over the balcony

“I just don’t understand why you thought putting my demo out there was a good idea when I told you how many times not to because I’m not ready…” she pleaded

“okay maybe I made a mistake…” I started then she turned around glaring at me “…okay I did make a mistake, but if you have every right to ignore any labels that call you back”

“I don’t want to be sponsored by some other label…every label out there except for mine and Aiden’s just sells sex and not the music…” she explained “…Aiden already said he’d help me produce an album when I was ready to”

“why didn’t you tell me that?”

“because you go and do stuff like this” she said “making decisions for me…when have I ever done that to you?” she asked

“Ashley I’m sorry okay? Look I’m not perfect…I make mistakes”

“I just don’t want to think about it now…” she told me “…and you can go to that magazine shoot…I’m not” she said laying down on the bed “I mean…why can’t we just have a normal life? away from all the fucking fame and shit Spencer?” she asked me

“okay you can’t just go and ask me to give up my career” I told her

“I’m not telling you to do that…look when I asked your parents if I could ask you to marry me I told them I would be right next to no matter what you did and I would go wherever you wanted to go…but I want that to be you in the spot light…not me…I know damn well if I wanted to be in that spot light I could be, but I chose to be behind the scenes…” she explained and she kept trying to beat it into my head what she wanted and contrary to her belief I think I finally understood “…look I’m not mad at you, I’m really not it’s just frustrating” she said

“I’m gonna go help move my stuff in” I told her then I walked out of the room and went downstairs then outside to Aiden’s truck that had a bunch of boxes in it

“she okay?” he asked me

“uh yeah she’s just mad at me” I told him

“want to talk about it?” he asked me “I mean I could use a break anyways” he said then we went and sat over in the front yard

‘I made a call…about her music, and so many people love it, but she just keeps hiding it…she just doesn’t want anyone to listen to it, and I thought I was helping her…” I explained

“well…here’s the deal Spence, Ashley’s music means the world to her, and it’s personal and it actually has meaning to it…music is like…it’s like her journal, you know? It’ll take her time to want to tell her stories…I’m sure she understands you were trying to help her, but it’s one thing she needs to do on her own…I told her that when she’s ready I’ll help her produce that album, that way we have a flexible contract…”

“what do you mean a flexible contract?” I asked him

“if I produce her album and she goes through red walls records then she wont be forced to go on tour for months at a time…that’s her biggest fear Spence, she wants to be with her fiancée” he said and I couldn’t help but smile a little “the day will come when her album hits the shelves and it’ll be amazing…I have without a doubt in my mind, that thirty years from now, people will wish they were around for her music” he told me

“you’re a really good friend to her Aiden…” I told him “…and to me”

“yeah well someone had to take care of her while you were gone…” he said putting his arm around me “…just give her, her ten minutes then she’ll be fine and want to cuddle with you again…I mean how long can she go without her best friend around?” he asked me smiling then he stood back up and walked back over to his trunk and I went back into the house, then I looked for Ashley and she wasn’t in the bedroom or out back so I went into the basement where her little home recording studio was…

She was sitting at her piano, which nearly made my heart melt, especially when she started to sing…

No it don't come easy
no it don't come fast
lock me up inside your garden
take me to the real side

Fire burning me up
desire taking me so much higher
and leaving me home

they you are in your black dress
moving slow to the sadness
i could watch you dance for hours
i could take you by my side

fire burning me up
desire taking me so much higher
and leaving me

Its like fire turning me on
desire taking me so much higher
and leaving me home

She held out that single word ‘home’ for at least thirty seconds…her voice was the most powerful thing I had ever heard…the way I look at it, is that her lyrics are real, they mean something and people can relate to them. Her musical talent goes beyond anything I have ever heard before, and she knows that…she just chooses to avoid.

“hey you…” I said acting like I had just walked through the door

“oh uh…hey” she replied turning around on the piano bench and looking at me

“I was looking for you…” I told her “…I figured you’d be down here”

“I’m sorry that I freaked out earlier…” she told me

“no…no you have nothing to be sorry for, I’m sorry for not understanding how important all of this was to you…” I told her “…Ashley I know one day your album will be on the shelves and it’ll be amazing, and your music is going to the stuff that people thirty years from now wish that they were around for…” I said then she smiled and got up and came over by me and let her hands rest on my waist

“how did I ever get so lucky?” she asked me

“I ask myself the same question every day” I told her

“spence! Ash! We’re done!” Aiden yelled from upstairs, then we walked up the stairs and there were boxes everywhere and then Ashley wrapped her arms around my waist

“welcome home” she said kissing my shoulder

***************************************************************************************************************

Spencer and I have been living together for about five months now and it’s coming up on our one year anniversary since we got back together. I think it’s been about two weeks since I started recording some of my songs, and Aiden and I have spent plenty nights at the studio, but I haven’t told Spencer about it yet.

“where are you?” Spencer asked me as she answered her phone

“I’m like five minutes away” I told her

“Ashley…” she started

“Spencer honey, I know okay…I’m going as fast as I can” I said then she hung up and I just laughed to myself and put my phone down in the cup holder then about six minutes later I pulled into the country club and then I ran out back “hey I’m so sorry I’m late…” I said to Spencer’s mom, the wedding planner and Spencer then I kissed Spencer quickly and she glared at me “…believe it or not I do work from time to time” I told her

“I didn’t say anything” she said

“but you have that look” I told her “I know what look” I added then she looked away

“well girls, I’ve done my best to accommodate what you wanted as your location and I have to say this is probably the most beautiful view I’ve ever seen” the wedding planner told us and I looked out and it was right on a cliff that looked out straight to the ocean

“wow…” I muttered walking closer near the edge “…spence just picture walking down the aisle…and meeting me right here and saying our vows” I said just picturing everything then Spencer did a little strut down the potential aisle and then met me where I was standing and then I looked at her

“I do” she said and a huge smile spread across my face “yeah, I can see it” she told me

“I think we’ll have to cut down the two hundred people” her mom told us

“I agree, and not just because of the space, but a location like this you don’t want to clutter…” the wedding planner added

“how small are we talking?” I asked

“I’d say around eighty at most” she told us

“holy shit” I said “sorry…uh no that’s just saving us a lot of invitation time”

“we could probably make it smaller” Spencer told me

“yeah…I have no problem with that…trust me” I said putting my arm around her

“okay so the location is set?” the planner asked us

“without a doubt” Spencer said

“okay well…I will call you when we start moving forward such as colors and things…and I’ll book the country club for July twenty eighth…” she said

“sounds good” I told her then we shook her hands and she went walking off with Spencer’s mom “I can’t believe we’re finally getting married” I told Spencer

“I know…it’s crazy but amazing” she said then I twirled her around and pulled her into me “oh been practicing the dance moves?”

“psh I don’t need practice” I told her and she laughed then she kissed me quickly “so can I take you out to dinner? You need time to relax”

“if I get to relax then you don’t have to ask twice” she said then I took her hand in mine and I drove her to the studio “why are we at the studio?” she asked me